Warning: This post is mostly a whine-fest. Feel free to scroll to the bottom for the giveaway
In case you’re not yet sick of listening to me whine about my busted ankle, I thought I’d walk you through my accident. Just for shits and giggles, and because I’m already sick and tired of lying around.
Our story begins one sunny day, a long while ago, when I first laid eyes on a black, Saffiano leather MICHAEL Michael Kors tote. It was love at first sight. I couldn’t resist the sleek lines, perfect angles, and shiny hardware. Alas, our love wasn’t meant to be, because my family has the nasty habit or requiring sustenance, and as many times as I tried to save for the tote and tell myself it was all right to splurge, something always came up.
Then last month, the stars aligned. The British pound took a nosedive, and an eBay seller offered a new MK tote with tags (no dust bag, though) for half the retail price. This was it. This was our moment. I had to have that bag.
I ordered it, promised myself and My Love that I would take on more editing, to cover the expense, and waited patiently for it to come to me.
Only I wasn’t very patient. I tracked it online, refreshing the page every couple hours even on weekends, when there were no updates from the courier. Until last Tuesday—was it only five days ago?—the update said my beautiful tote was waiting for me at the local post office. I was at work, but I could sneak out for an hour. I already felt the smooth leather against my fingers.
As I climbed into my car, I realized I didn’t have my phone with me since that morning. I could swing by our place and get it, but really, what could go wrong? I’d get it on the way back.
I parked four blocks from the post office, but hey—I had on my comfy shoes.
I was actually thinking how lucky I was for wearing those short, wide, square heels, when my right foot hit the ground a little off balance. I shifted my weight to my left foot, to regain my balance, and my left ankle twisted. The laces of my stocky shoes didn’t give way, and my left foot landed on the sidewalk full force, at a right angle. Something above my ankle stretched and snapped. I fell forward, scraped my right knee, and rolled to sit on my ass.
The pain was bad. Really bad. I could wiggle my toes, though. I gathered both feet close and rocked in place, trying to figure out if I could crawl to the nearest store and ask them to call My Love. I’m grateful I didn’t have to do the crawling part. My fall took place right by the main street of our suburb, across the street from banks and shops, and I wasn’t down for ten seconds, before four very helpful gentlemen rushed to my aid. I was offered ice and helped to a chair, and one of them called my husband. My BIL happened to be driving by and also hurried over.
Long story short, I ended up in the hospital, with my ankle fastened back in place by a titanium plate and six screws. I never made it to the post office, but my darling went and got my bag for me the next day.
I was told not to step on my left foot for six weeks, but at least I’d have my lovely tote to keep me company, right?
You see, instead of my lovely Michael Kors new with tags tote, the box we got held a used COACH tote. Still lovely, and with no signs of use, but not what I ordered. The seller accidentally sent the bag I bought to the person who ordered the COACH, and they apparently didn’t care to send it back.
Once I return the COACH, I’m supposed to get a full refund. Fingers crossed. In the meantime, I decided to be mature about it, and spend that money on a comfy writing chair, instead of a tote I love but don’t really need. So I got the chair.
And then I bought the bag anyway. It was at a discount, but still cost more than we could spare, but if you think about it, it’s an investment. It’ll improve my mood, yes? I mean, I clearly need it, yes?
Anyway, the pain is generally manageable, except for today (I’m considering chomping that limb off today), but I hate spending the day on the couch, unable to get to the bathroom in less than fifteen minutes (I exaggerate, therefore I am).
At least I’ll soon have my lovely tote to keep me company, right?
I SURE AS HELL HOPE I WILL!
Oh, and did I mention I managed to drop my laptop on my face yesterday, as I was getting comfortable? No? Well, I did. The corner hit me above the left (see a pattern there) cheekbone, and I have the bump to prove it.
And if you made it this far down my woe-is-me post, you deserve a brownie. Here’s a giveaway instead.
The Goodreads page only mentions the signed paperback, but I’ll throw in a little something extra 🙂
PS. Cherry Pie is out tomorrow. Have you ordered your copy yet?